No point trying to catch up on every little thing so I'll just write about what's on my mind these days. I'm watching my parents physically fall apart in front of my very eyes. I didn't think I'd have to worry about such things until I was in my 60s. Here I am just starting the next generation with the first grandchild on either side of the family, and my parents bodies are showing signs of wear.
After a dramatic weight loss that left my father weighing less than me, I took him in for a physical to find out that he was hyperglycemic with a blood sugar level of 523 WITH pneumonia. It was Type 2 diabetes and the worst part of it is that apparently he has known about for two years! He's been in denial about it and decided to treat himself with a variety of crazy myths. The latest? Drinking gallons of "bitter juice". Yes, my diabetic father was drinking about a gallon of grapefruit juice a day for the past 3 months. Thus the dramatic weight loss and pneumonia. I'm happy to report that he is now set with a blood sugar monitor and is keeping a diary of food and sugar levels, hopefully making up for the past two years of harmful activity.
But that's not the kicker. Last month, my mother also fell very ill. We kept asking her for more information, but she wouldn't share, as she became more and more immobile, we finally just took her to the Emergency Room. Her body was riddled with an infection and she had severe back pain. After many tests, we discovered blood clots in her lungs, legs and Stage 4 breast cancer. Yeah, fucking cancer. After she was safely in the hospital and we knew what we were dealing with, she began to talk. I learned that there was a lump that showed up over 5 years ago, that she had shared it with her sister who had advised to get it checked out. However, because it never physically hurt, she never did.
In both cases, we're just dealing with the here and now. Taking one day at a time. I've learned a lot these past few weeks about both my parents, their fears, their strengths, and how to better communicate with them.
My parents are only in their 60s, I can't imagine what would have happened if me and my siblings hadn't noticed their weight loss and silent suffering and started asking hard questions. There was a lot of resistance, tears and yelling. But we got both of them on paths for treatment. My father has a lot of weight to gain back and my mom has at least 4 months of chemo ahead of her. She just started to lose her hair last week, but we are all full of positivity and hope. January put so much into perspective for me, I have tons to be grateful for and a few pieces of unnecessary baggage I can finally cut free. More than anything, I am so thankful that I have my siblings. Taking turns caring for our parents, watching each other's backs. Don't get me wrong, we certainly fought as kids, had our differences, ignored or have been highly competitive with each other. As adults, however, things have changed. Together, we are unbreakable. I cherish our late nights over In-N-Out reminiscing and sharing our hopes and dreams and the future we want to create.
When I was a kid, my family loved watching nature docs on PBS together.
If you have siblings that you aren't close with....try, and try again. As adults, you can piece such different perspectives together to see the past in a whole new light. Where before there was rank and different levels of maturity, as adults you can now stand as equals and come to a completely different level of understanding. I thank my parents for this a rare and precious gift: six amazing siblings that remind me that there are always a variety of perspectives to consider in any given situation. To quote Tolkien: "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us".
I've decided to choose forgiveness, gratefulness and love.
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