What Will My Baby Look Like?

Growing up the oldest of seven kids, one thing that I had the ability of experiencing first hand was the variety of gene combinations that can occur between two people. Both of my parents are Korean, but they have very different features. Only my immediate family lives in the United States so it was an even more eye opening experience when I returned to Korea for the first time at the age of 17 to see the genetic variations among my mother's family (who herself was one of eight).

I am no doubt the female version of my father. If I had to make a continuum of where each of my siblings land on a scale from Dad to Mom, it might be something like this (though I'm sure one or two of my sibs might disagree):

My youngest brother (#6) has Down Syndrome, and his features are quite distinctive for either side, so I've put him in the middle. It's amazing to me how genes work. Just because you have one kind of baby, it doesn't mean they'll all come through with the same combination. This is why CGB and I are just so incredibly curious and excited to meet our little one. I've seen the range of variety you can get with two Koreans, so what happens when you pool together genes from a Korean and a Half English/Half American with German descent? Here's a photo of us at around 1 year of age, the mind boggles at the possibilities:

Hapa children are pretty commonplace here in San Francisco, but that doesn't make it any less interesting to see all the combinations. When CGB and I were first dating, it certainly wasn't out of the ordinary, but at times it did feel noticeably different being part of a mixed race couple. Today, I'd say about 65% of my personal network consists of multicultural relationships - MARRIED multicultural relationships at that! Turkish, Italian, Mexican, Indian, Panamanian, and I don't mean Americans with descent. Many of my friends are second generation like me and grew up bilingual. In addition, both of my sisters #2 and #4 are also in committed relationships with non-Korean men. Honestly, the only thing that comes close to the excitement level of meeting our little one is how much I am looking forward to seeing him/her grow up with multi-ethnic friends.

The Pregnancy Gods Get Even

If there's anything you learn quickly, it's that every woman is different when it comes to pregnancy symptoms. You can read every book and every site about them, but the grab bag of symptoms you'll get will be unique to you and even different between each pregnancy you have. I considered myself pretty lucky as I only tossed my cookies once. My first trimester was shrouded by a heavy fog of fatigue and I found all my delightful vegetables absolutely revolting, but at least I could eat and all I really had to contend with was some gagging and a mild "hungover" feeling.

By the time I got into the 2nd trimester things were looking pretty damn great! Not only could I eat veggies again, but I was able to move about and feel like my old self. Another thing you learn fairly quickly is that many people are fascinated by the "horrors" of pregnancy. If things are good = it's boring. Gory details? Yes, please! Well, the Pregnancy Gods are quite fair in their hand outs, and they seem to have found a way to torture me.

Since week 23, I've been having horrible side rib pain. The kind that moves from the front to the back and back to the front again. Based on changing sizes, I can tell that my rib cage has already expanded by 3 inches and the muscles surrounding them are revolting. I partly blame myself for all those years of horrible posture, but there's nothing I can do now. I've noticed that pressure points and having SUPER straight posture helps--kinda. The worst part is that I'm not sure how this is going to get better. It appears that I'm carrying very low, and the pain will only get worse as the baby starts to grow bigger and up. That, or it'll stay super low and grow OUT, and I'll really look like a freak.

This past Memorial Day weekend, we visited family in the Midwest and boy was it rough. 90+ degrees plus humidity was not kind to my burgeoning belly. I felt like I was always panting, and my face was a constant flush of pink. By day three, I couldn't sit still even in the cool of the night due to the rib pain and I was completely fed up:

"I'm done. I totally quit. I'm over this." I said in a low tone as I pointed to my belly.
CGB just looked at me. He blinked and echoed back, "You're done?"
"Yes, I can't take any more of this. I can't imagine another four months." I replied.

I admit, not my best moment, but now that I'm back in 60 degree SF, I'm hanging in there, rib pain and all. I can just feel my skin preparing for another growth spurt as my balance starts to shift. Today, just picking up a business card I dropped while waiting for the bus was an effort. I suppose these are all signs of that awkward, annoying third trimester just around the corner...and based on recent developments, I'm gonna bet that my crankiness goes up to 11. Ugh, I just want to just curl into bed and hibernate until September. If only!

Then Comes a Baby In a Baby Carriage!

Those that know me best know that I'm highly nontraditional when it comes to how I choose to live and celebrate special occasions. For one, CGB and I were together for 10 years before we got engaged and when we did, per my request, I opted out of having a diamond engagement ring and asked for my birthstone, a sapphire. And it couldn't be any old sapphire, I was pretty adamant that it couldn't be blue (look, when you've been together for that long, you might as well ensure that you get what you want!). Without any hesitation, CGB did a stellar job locating a natural and unequivocally unique lilac sapphire <3.

When it came to our wedding, the story wasn't any different. We didn't have a bridal party, and we married in an art gallery attached to one of our favorite restaurants in the city. We had the honor of CGB's sister agreeing to be both ordained by a universal church, and sworn in by SF county to marry us (CGB wanted to cover all possible bases). No religion, no prayers, but an unbelievably personal and heartfelt story about our 11 year journey to the altar. Even revealing that to this day only one person (maybe two), know the TRUE story of how we first met. She did an incredible, unbelievable job. She had us and our guests entirely engaged either laughing up a storm or wiping away tears for a solid 30 minutes. We also had our rings passed around to each guest during the ceremony for everyone to "bless" with their wishes. When the time came, Charlie and I weren't the only ones to say "I do". Our guests were asked to do all that was in their power to support and encourage us in fulfilling the promises we made that day. Thankfully they agreed.

So now it's time for baby in a baby carriage! Being so particular, I knew that I couldn't let someone else take the reins entirely when it came to the baby shower. Again, to hell with tradition! I'm not waiting until the 7th or 8th month, and why does it have to be thrown by someone outside the family? And please, keep those diapers and melted chocolate bars AWAY from me. None of these are for me. Whatever your preference, I'm of the strong opinion that you gotta make these special events your own. Don't cookie cutter it, they're once in a lifetime moments.

So what do I want? 

I want to celebrate while my appetite strong, and I feel the best. Sure I can't drink, but I want my guests to indulge and gain some sympathy weight - there should be alcohol, and I mean beyond a champagne toast. I don't want doilies and crudités, give me napkins and calories! Not snacks, real food. And damn it, the catering better be well reviewed on Yelp. There's nothing worse than a foodie having to throw a party with bad food...I think that would be a personal horror of mine. Being in San Francisco, I plan to cut my losses and make it an evening event so that people don't have to worry about weather. Also, day drinking isn't nearly as fun as that golden sliver of early evening we like to call "happy hour". Last but not least, it takes two to make a baby so this isn't just my baby shower, it's ours: CGB, Baby Bearhat and I. As such, the invite list will be co-ed and inclusive of both our nearest and dearest. I'm extremely grateful and lucky to have my wonderful in-laws host so I hope they, and everyone we invited takes heed of the invite and: Eats. Drinks...and accordingly acts Merry!

Oh and for the lucky ones that can attend. We'll be revealing gender!

There's A Hole In My Pocket

Usually when you find out that you're pregnant, one of the things you have to adjust to is cutting down on your caffeine intake. When it comes to caffeine, doctors have recommended no more than 150-300 mg of caffeine a day.

I almost never drink soda or caffeinated coffee and it's been that way for years, but today I discovered a very strange trend when I went to check in on my debit card purchases. For the past month, I've been increasingly going to Starbucks for a soy chai latte. Sometimes a tall, sometimes a grande and depending on the weather it may be extra hot or iced. I used to indulge in this treat maybe twice a month. But what I found out today was that the habit was growing, and last week I had imbibed the sweet, slightly spicy beverage every. single. day.

Luckily a grande only holds 75 mg of caffeine, but this was clearly turning into an expensive habit! At about $4 bucks a day, if this trend continued, I would be spending $20 a week. UGH! While other caffeinated preggers are saving money as they cut down on their daily caffeine intake...I must be the only one spending more. Everyone knows that coffeehouse habits eat holes in our pockets, but I've never had to worry about such extraneous spending until now. I guess my baby likes chai.

Well, no more. Today's my wake-up call. I'm going to try my best to nip this habit in the bud and try to save these treats for when I actually meet up with friends or take breaks with co-workers (hopefully down to less than once a week). No more solo chai drinking! However, for those that want to go on a cheap date, take me! It'll only cost you four bucks.

This Little Light of Mine

I got home today and noticed that yet another one of the lightbulbs in our apartment had gone out.

It's been a little over 3 years since we moved into this unit, but it wasn't until the beginning of this year that the lightbulbs started to wane. One by one, slowly but surely, the bulbs on our candlelabra light fixtures started to go. First the hallway, then the kitchen. Last month, one of the bulbs in the main closet even bit the dust. I know it's just a matter of timing, but I can't help but see this as a sign that everything is about to change.

We haven't gotten around to buying replacement bulbs yet since each fixture holds 12 bulbs, but when we do, I think I'm going to be a little bit sad. That is, until the replacement bulbs are put in and I see how bright and warm things will be when I let the new light in.

Two Cats & A Baby

Ever since I was a little girl, I've loved cats. I love them so much I have a dedicated cat blog (and if I ever shirk my duties there for Baby Bearhat, please call me out). Growing up, I had both cats and dogs, but I prefer my dogs adventurous and outgoing and my cats cuddly and calm. Not having the time or space for a dog, I've always focused more on cats.

Lucky for me, CGB also loves cats. When we first moved in together, our place would not allow pets so it was just the two of us for quite a while. That's why when we moved up to San Francisco in 2006, on the top of our apartment wish list was: cats allowed. We moved into a great spot in March and by July of that year, we welcomed our new roommates: Alvin and Piggy. Huddled together in a temporary cage at a bay area PetSmart, they hid from every visitor. While other kittens pawed at us, and wanted desperately to play, these two just cowered in the corner...but we were undeterred. Grey little Piggy caught my eye, and CGB just melted at Alvin's fluffy white chest and marshmallow paws.

Now at 6 years of age, they are the cuddliest, sweetest roommates (if still a bit shy around strangers). After my pregnancy announcement, it surprised me how many people asked if we were going to be keeping them with the baby on the way. Inside all I could think was: HOW IS THIS EVEN A QUESTION?! 

On my first visit back home after sharing the good news, my Mom (a life-long cat hater) simply remarked, "Well, that's it for the cats!" When I shook my head no, and explained that the boys would be staying put, my Dad moved into the conversation with concern, "but...but, it's not good for the baby!" 

And it wasn't just my parents! So what exactly was everyone concerned about? Seems that quite a few people believe that cats will suffocate the baby. This stems from an old myth that cats can "suck out a baby's breath". I've noticed that seemingly normal people have evolved this to: having a cat around isn't good for baby's breathing, or that the cat will suffocate a baby by cuddling with it. Neither are correct. Your baby could be allergic to cats, but there's nothing that makes a cat worse for a baby over a dog, a hamster or any other pet. For more details on this ridiculously evil cat rumor, I recommend heading to Snopes.com.

The bottom line is that you would never leave your baby unattended, right? Well, then suffice to say you wouldn't leave the little one alone with any animal either. That's just common sense! What I wanted to cover in this post, was how to properly introduce your baby. The last thing you want to do is end up with jealousy or behavioral problems that result in isolation or worse...the permanent eviction of your furry friend. Sometimes you're just lucky and your pet will just go with the flow, but the fact remains that countless dogs and cats are abandoned each year because new parents don't take the time and patience to get everyone properly acquainted. Remember, animals have feelings too!

Here are some things I've found in my research that I have already, or plan to implement:

• Having cuddle time/play time with baby powder on my hands. In general, getting pets to associate baby smells with positive interactions.
• Gradually playing recordings of an infant crying. Having them get used to the sound versus being alarmed at the sudden onslaught.
• Providing them with more outlets for stress relief. A new scratching post, maybe a new bed.
• Increasing the square footage in the apartment.Cats and dogs are territorial, since Alvin and Piggy are indoor cats, I'm considering getting them a higher cat tree so that they can have some height and distance if they feel like the addition of another roommate encroaches on their property.
• Having CGB bring home baby's scent via a swaddle sheet or blanket before arrival. This gives them a chance to "meet" the baby before it actually enters the home.
• Enter the home solo and greet your pets (they probably haven't seen you in a few days) before coming in with the baby in your arms, or have another family member hold the baby.
• Luckily our cats have never been allowed into either of the bedrooms without supervision, but when the baby items start to take over the 2nd room, curiosity will be on high alert. We'll continue to give them room tours and let them browse the changing landscape being careful that they don't sit or sleep on any of baby's soft and cushy things (as enticing as they may seem!).
• Maintain any routine (feeding, playing) as close as possible after baby's arrival. 
• Interacting with your pets while the baby is in your arms is a good idea (baby=attention). Ignoring them until baby is asleep sends the opposite message (baby=no attention).

Last, but not least...as baby gets older don't forget that it's equally  important to teach our children how to treat and respect our fellow furry friends. It's a two way street! 

Should Pregnant Women Celebrate Mother's Day?

This was a topic in my September discussion board and it seemed like there were a lot of mixed opinions. I saw both sides and personally thought it would be much sweeter to celebrate next year when I could "officially" consider myself a mother, but it wasn't until I read this particular editorial piece about it on Yahoo! Shine that I had to give a double-take.

The title gives you an idea of the author's harsh stance: "Mother's Day Gifts for Pregnant Women Are Kind of Ridiculous". The author was due late in April so she's very excited to be celebrating her first Mother's Day this year. As such, even if you're due the day after Mother's day, the following is an excerpt of her opinion on the matter. I quote:

"...I think that giving a Mother's Day gift to a pregnant woman takes the fun out of future Mother's Days when they're actual mothers. It's jumping the gun a little bit. I mean, a cute card from your husband is one thing, but a full-blown gift is pretty unnecessary. I sort of liken it to throwing your child a semi-elaborate "Half Birthday Party" when he or she turns 6 months old (yep, people do that). It's too much, too soon. And it makes the big birthday party -- the 1 year birthday party -- all that much less special."

I wasn't planning on celebrating Mother's Day, but this morning I was surprised by CGB with a totally unwarranted and surprise pregnancy massage at the spa to commemorate the special day! This is his freebie year to NOT have to remember or care about Mother's Day one last time, but instead he chose to celebrate it. Why should I deny friends and family the right to celebrate Mother's Day just because my baby isn't here yet? And what about the Mother due just a few days or even a few weeks after? Same goes for the example the author gives about Half-Birthdays, if loved ones want to celebrate and make someone feel just a little extra special, why is that ridiculous? I disagree that it diminishes the "official" day in any way, in fact, those days are just more special.

I think asking for a gift, or requesting others to celebrate on your behalf may be where the line is for me. But even then, provided that it's not for financial gain, any party or celebration of life is a positive in my book. So if you find yourself with friends and family that want to celebrate your pregnancy on Mother's Day, let them! I don't believe that Love should be saved up for just "official" occasions. Life is too short to limit ourselves in any way around showing how much you care about someone.

Happy Mother's Day to all the Mamas and Mamas-to-be!

From Carrots to Carrot Cake

Before my 30th birthday I had the goal of getting myself into the greatest. shape. ever. The idea being to establish a starting point after which it would just be a matter of maintenance as I moved towards 40 and on. Oh and hey, if I happened to have kids, well, at least I'd already be in the habit of exercising.

Since moving to SF in 2006, I wasn't regularly exercising. Active yes, but no scheduled, routine exercise. In 2009, in preparation for my wedding, I decided it was time to start up again, but it wasn't anything crazy. I was pretty happy with my body and I just felt like I needed to tone up here and there. I started with more walking, some jogging and yoga. It was about 3 times a week, 30 minutes each time. I went to some Bikram yoga classes and in general tried to eat healthier, but had no hard or fast rules. I saw more toning in my arms, but I stayed about the same size and was happily married on October 2, 2010.

For some reason, turning 30 was different. The wedding was two weeks after my 29th birthday and something about turning 3-0 made me a little crazy. I'm a highly goal oriented person and it was time to reset them. During this phase I had read Jonathan Safran Foer's "Eating Animals" and combined with the general knowledge that less meat is just better for you, I almost immediately implemented a strict vegan only house rule. I still believed in an omnivore diet, but I just couldn't live with the way we treat animals AND humans to obtain this privilege. For most, only eating vegan at home may not seem like a big deal, but I cook every weeknight and almost always pack my lunch, so it made a pretty fast dent in our lives physically. When outside of the home, as much as possible, I only ate humane, organic animal products and downgraded to vegetarianism.

In addition, I upped my workout schedule and was now doing 5-6 times a week of minimum 1 hour cross-training, yoga or barre workouts. Needless to say by the time I hit the big 30, there was a difference. Due to my already small frame, I didn't track weight, only inches. My arms and legs were leaner and I had to buy smaller pants, so I knew I had reached my goal. I was in no doubt, the best shape of my life. Later that month, my annual check-up confirmed it.

Four months later, I found out I was pregnant.

Suddenly the world of medicine was telling me about a whole slew of things I should be eating more of (namely protein), and things I had to avoid. In addition, the first few months brought on a fierce attack of unbelievable fatigue which completely halted my workouts. As I met with friends for a coffee break (soy decaf latte for me), I struggled to keep my end of the conversation going as I kept my pregnancy a secret. I snuck in naps at the office and found myself panting after just climbing up the 3 flights of stairs to my apartment. Nausea wasn't too bad, but if I was actually hungry (which was rare), I didn't want anything other than carbs and sugar. My favorite veggies absolutely revolted me and chocolate was always on the brain.

Thankfully that all changed by week 12. I could eat veggies again, but had to up my intake of meat for that easy one-two punch of iron and protein. The good news was that I was back. Only this time, I took it all down a notch. I adjusted my workouts to be pregnancy safe (no jumping, lying on my back, quick movements etc.) and stabilized with 5 workouts a week at 30 minutes. I mixed in more yoga and added in kegel and breathing exercises. Before, I would sweat through the pain, but now if I got hot at all, I rested. Most surprisingly, I can't get enough cake. Chocolate cake, red velvet cake, carrot cake, I want it all. As long as I get my veggies, protein and calcium for the day from whole natural foods, I allow myself to freely eat cake....and man, is it heaven. The best cake I've had thus far is Lori's Famous XXX Chocolate Cake Triple layer cake from Baker and Banker here in SF. It's a flourless chocolate cake, chocolate cheesecake and devil's food cake all in one beautiful package:

So that brings us to today. The last remaining pair of pants have waved the white flag and refuse to button. Belly bands, stretchy yoga pants and leggings are my best friends. In about two weeks, I'll finally graduate to maternity jeans (they're just still a bit too roomy still), and I honestly can't wait. They're just hanging in my closet dying to be worn.

When I last visited my mom in LA, she had another one of her crazy, but hilarious sayings at the ready. As I was eating lunch she said: "You know what your auntie always told me when I was pregnant? If you don't eat what you crave, your baby will come out cross-eyed!" Yep. You heard the lady. So please, pass the cake!

Everyday I Cry, I Laugh, I Rage.

Ahhh...hormones. The roller coaster ride from hell. Everyday I find myself tearing up or just flat out snobbing in my office after watching something particularly sad, heartwarming or inspirational. Today it was this video on YouTube about Lacey Buchanan, a 25-year-old mom from Tennessee who shares her inspiring story of raising her son Christian. Christian was born with an extremely rare disorder that left him with a severe cleft palate and no eyes. Warning: even those that are not preggers are sure to get misty eyed watching this one!

An unbelievably beautiful story. To quell the snobbing, I decided to watch the adorable video of two 6-year-old friends who made a music video to Gotye's, "Somebody I Used To Know" that has been making the rounds. I kept seeing the link in my Facebook feed, but hadn't seen it yet:

It definitely perked me up...until the boy-girl friendship of the two reminded me of the main characters from one of my favorite books, Bridge to Terabitha and then I was crying again. But it's okay. I'd much rather cry than rage... 

The bouts of rage are usually late in the night when only poor CGB and the kitties have to deal with it. When it's over, I don't even remember what I was even angry about - consider it a fugue state. In fact, I bet I ate that pint of Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream in a fugue state because it's missing.

Are You Going To Eat That?

Placentophagy is the act of eating the placenta. Now, I've seen plenty of animal documentaries in my day and have seen footage of animals eating their placenta. Growing up it was kind of a Park past time to sit in the living room together as a family after dinner and just tuck in to the latest PBS animal documentary. I'm not a doctor, a nurse, a scientist or anything related to a credible source when it comes to this topic, but I got very interested in it when I read that January Jones was eating her own placenta after the birth of her son Xander (source: People.com).

At first, I was disgusted. Literally sick to my stomach, but being kind of a hippie living in San Francisco, I decided to at least Google it. You get a lot of mixed opinions on the topic and after an hour of reading multiple articles and sites, I was already telling my husband to prepare a cooler to catch my placenta. The thought of eating the placenta was still horrifying, but encapsulating it into pills didn't seem so gross and if it did help with postpartum depression, lactation, energy levels, pain relief, and helping return the uterus to its original size...in fact the list goes on if you want it to...why not, right? Well, being only in my 16th week I promised CGB that I'd discuss the topic with my OB and she had some very interesting points with the bottom line being, "totally open and prepared to facilitate whatever [I] choose to do with the placenta". I went home and did more reading. So to summarize my research here are just the facts I was able to uncover:

• Yes, most mammals eat the placenta after birth. However, not all primates do this. 
• There have been studies as to why mammals eat the placenta, but nothing scientifically definitive. Hypotheses offered include: hiding scent/traces of birth from predators, and nature providing an immediate source of nutrients for the mother.
• There is one human study from 1954 from what was then known as Czechoslovakia that had participants take a supplement that included placenta which found increased milk production. This research has not been duplicated since then and some question the study for being, "somewhat unrigorous". 
• Careful care must be utilized for placenta transport. It's like raw meat, and it must be placed on ice and refrigerated or frozen immediately if preparing for consumption. If there are any pathological concerns, your placenta will not be released to you on legal grounds. 
• Remember that the placenta is often vaginally delivered, and if you've ever had an UTI you know there's lots of bacteria and germs to think about down there. 
• Another source of bacteria: if your baby is born distressed, meconium may be released and mix with the placenta in-utero before birth. 
• There have been a handful of studies regarding rats and placenta around analgesic effects, and hormone levels, but no claims for humans.
• Human studies have been done that correlate iron deficiency with postpartum depression and fatigue, but none mention placentophagy.
• Culturally, Chinese medicine has utilized placenta as a medicinal supplement, but usage extends beyond eating your own placenta as even men will take placenta-fortified pills.

There are tons of instructions online for preparing the placenta yourself...including recipes for placenta lasagna, stew etc. A simple Google search will fill your notebook easily. I also found specialized doulas who will come to your own home to dehydrate and encapsulate your placenta for you. I thought this video on Time.com was very interesting. It's a bit graphic as they show the placenta, but it films a doula visiting Joel Stein's home and the process of how she encapsulates his wife's placenta into pill form. 

As for me, the initial fear of postpartum, increased fatigue, a painful recovery and poor lactation made me furiously search for a doula and even get a price quote on what it would cost to have one visit my home for encapsulation. I even made a few calls asking relatives who would be the lucky one to transport my placenta home while I was in recovery! But then I took a breath, talked to my OB, did more research and ultimately decided that I'll save my money and worrying for something else. Science simply does not offer enough evidence to either support or reject the benefits of placentophagy so the best we can do is to make a decision based on anecdotal, philosophical and cultural considerations. 

What I decided:

My OB has delivered and spoken with women who have eaten their placenta and still suffered with postpartum. My mother never heard of eating the placenta, according to her, it's not part of the Korean culture. Lastly, I don't have any philosophical desire to be more natural or "recycle" the afterbirth. Lavender is natural, but I'm allergic to it so I know first hand that just because it's from nature, it doesn't mean it's automatically awesome. My personal plan is to have CGB waiting with an iron-rich, warm and beautifully pink roast beef or pastrami sandwich and a generous glass of red wine when I'm out of L&D. 

The Halfway Mark: Sharing The News

This Friday marks the end of our 20th week. Hard to believe how fast & slow the time has gone. Having finally told "the world" the news, there's one thing that I didn't anticipate. And it's the variety of reactions you get when you share the big news. After speaking with many new moms, it turns out that it's quite commonplace to come face to face with a few silent nods, tears of sadness and even just general awkwardness. In my case these were few and far between and drowned out by a sea of smiles and genuine congrats. However, after viewing some of the baby boards, I thought it might be helpful to write down what I've learned about when your good news isn't received as good news:

• You never know what the other person could be going through. 
• Many of us have children around the same age range as we grow up with our peer set. Well, you never know who's been trying for awhile, having difficulties or maybe never wants babies. Understandably they've probably kept it quiet up until you decided to drop your happy bomb. Just give them some time to open up, or not. Either way, you never know.
• Not everyone's a mushy marshmallow.
• When people give me good news, I squeal, I hoot and I holler. When I hear someone is having a baby, I even get a bit teary eyed and can't help but give them a huge grin from ear to ear. I want to shake them and give them a huge hug - and I'm not even a hugger. But not everyone is like that. Some people are really happy for you, but they just don't get all gooey and melt into a puddle. Remember how they reacted when you surprised them at Christmas or for their birthday...was it about the same reaction? Well, that's the best they've got! 
• Some people just need time.
• Sometimes the closest to you have the strongest reactions you would never anticipate. There may be tears, and they may say things that they aren't fully digesting. These are the people that you expected to give you the biggest hug, but it didn't turn out that way. Having a baby to them means a tight-knit friendship is about to change forever. They might feel left behind, or even betrayed. These friends just need time. If they mean a lot to you, don't worry about what they say no matter how hurtful it may sound. Just give them some space and recognize that it's them, not you. Don't be the one to throw the friendship away. If they really love you, I guarantee that they'll be there for you when they're ready. 

I'm fortunate enough to be "around that age", and in a long-term, stable relationship that being pregnant wasn't a huge, huge surprise so I don't have thoughts to share around breaking the baby news when it's out of left field, but I hope it helps a little. 

As a final note, my parents have been asking for grandchildren for years in a very matter-of-fact kind of way (they aren't super expressive people). My Dad's advice since I was 18 was to get married, and immediately, "pop them out, one, two, three, four...as many as you can. Then, start your career." Needless to say I didn't follow that advice having been together with CGB for nearly 13 years, not getting engaged until our 10th and marrying at the 11th, all the while working on my career. Yet, when I broke the news both of my parents and only living grandmother were overwhelmingly elated - literally howling at the moon! I knew they would be happy, but I expected a pat on the back, maybe a hug, and a few knowing smiles. Bottom line: you just never know how people will react!

It's Facebook Official

First post to truly put everything out in the open once and for all. It's funny how we've all acclimated to the idea that once something is on Facebook, it's truly "official". It's been over 16 weeks since we found out, but much of that time was spent slowly revealing the news to family, close friends and finally employers. This past weekend, in the middle of our 20th week, CGB and I made it Facebook official with a status update. True to form, CGB revealed the news without technically saying it:

It's amazing how much of a relief it is to have it out in the open. At first I was hesitant to make such a public announcement and even a bit uncomfortable with the idea, but now that it's done I feel nothing but freedom. Freedom to show off the bump, freedom to act like a preggy grump, and freedom to make ridiculous nesting comments via social media. Not that I've been dying to do any of the above, but the point is now I can if I want to. Weird I know.