Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?
The second one is:
Have you picked out a name?
The specifics are still secret in our case, but I can say the answer to both is yes. The gender will be revealed at our baby shower and both a boy and girl name were selected back in January (I know, pretty early). When it comes to names, the only criteria I hold is that it's not just a name I find nice, or one that I just like the sound of. There has to be deep meaning and a story behind why. About a month ago, all the baby sites started to post name popularity rankings for 2012. My favorite baby name site is Nameberry.com, but here is the top 10 list from BabyCenter:
When you start to do research for a baby name, you'll find lots of opinion pieces on why "so and so" won't be choosing one of the top names. But the reality is that these are the top names because they are GOOD names. I say this because back in 2009, I read a great Wired article titled: "Why Your Baby's Name Will Sound Like Everyone Else's" that I never got out of my head (still available online). It's a breakdown of SSA data that analyzed the baby name trends and discussed why certain names are more popular than others. For instance, the growth of vowel vs. consonant starting names is easy to spot, but why do these kinds of changes happen? The reality is that, "parents are really bad at knowing why they like certain names." So even if I go with my meaningful/story rational, the bottom line is that my name selection will fit within my generational set:
"In aggregate, the popularity of baby names are merely driven by the rules of fashion. By a process known as the “ratchet effect,” the names change slowly, as millions of individuals just happen to like names that sound kind of, but not too much, like ones they know."
Even names like Jacob and Isabella which you may think are largely due to the infamous tween Twilight series, are actually only because the names, "fit into the ratchet effect already...If a celebrity has a name that fits in with the ‘different, but not too different’ thing, then it booms.” (eg. Miley Cyrus, quite similar to Emily, no?).
However, we're seeing more and more of a shift towards choosing more novel and unique names. One perspective says that our desire to do so says something about our national culture to be unique and stand out (but then isn't that also following the crowd when it's starting to look like a trend?). Others argue that the visibility of these annual rankings impact our decision against choosing a culturally popular name since we are now very much aware of it being #1 or #2. To which I say, sure, but I already know of an Ethan, Sophia and Ella all born in the past 3 months. If I expanded out to 1-2 degrees of separation, I know a toddler or baby that hits every name on this list. For whatever reason these names "sound" right to us and if you picked one of them, there is no doubt that everyone else will like them too - which is a good thing!
For someone named Cherry, I've always believed no one would even bother to blink at what I decide to name my child. If they hate it, there's a built-in excuse: "well, her name is Cherry, so go figure." Did I hate my name growing up? Never. Was I teased? Yes, I recall some childhood jokes when the Cherry Merry Muffin doll came out (just replace "sweet" with "bad" and you get the picture):
But here's a newsflash: teasing isn't only name-based, children are still figuring out who they are and in the process can be cruel. It's up to parents to teach them how to be good people. After grade school, so many more people loved my name, gushing over how pretty it was. To this day, when I pick up a name tag or check in for an appointment/reservation strangers still smile and compliment me on something I never even had a choice about (which is mostly true, but I'll save that story for another day). My name broke a lot of "rules". It's a fruit, and spelled like it. Some might argue it's a stripper's name. When you look up Cherry in Nameberry, it simply says: "Why give your future teenager even more reason to hate you." But on the contrary, this name has worked out great for me and I've always worn it proudly!
If there's one thing that's for sure, no matter what you name your baby, some will love it and some will hate it. Everyone brings their own memories or personal baggage when they hear a name, but it's not THEIR baby, it's yours. Choose the one you love -- popular, unpopular, unique or otherwise.
Just don't name them Hitler.
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