Baby Bearhat Teaches Me A Lesson

Baby Bearhat is already teaching me a lesson, and SHE still has 11 weeks to go!

I'm a very controlling person. "Bossy" is a term frequently (and lovingly) used to describe me by my friends and family. The upside is that if you hang with me, you'll never have to worry about not having a plan. I always have a plan A, B and C for any scenario, and my idea of flexibility is to be ready with a variety of options. It doesn't always have to be my way, but I'll be damned if we sit around fiddling our thumbs when something can be checked off, accomplished or decided.

Last week we had two big events. The baby shower and an ultrasound to check on my marginal placenta previa. The baby shower was a blast (once I have the photos, there will a separate post on that!), but the ultrasound two days before didn't provide any new information to help me prepare my birth plan. For someone who always has a plan, this is was not what I wanted to hear.

A few years ago when babies were just "someday", I saw "The Business of Being Born", a documentary on contemporary delivery practices here in the U.S. that specifically delved into the growing number of medical interventions, as well as our emphasis on medication. My mother had seven children in a hospital, but without any interventions. My mother's mother had eight children, in South Korea some at home, some at a hospital, but also without any interventions. Suffice to say I assumed that I was in a good position (at least genetically) to follow suit.

Well our 20 week anatomy scan back in May begged to differ. Everything looked great, but the technician wanted to bring in the head nurse to discuss one small thing. Uh oh. My placenta was just "a teeny tiny" bit too close to the cervix. Not a complete placenta previa, but a marginal one. A complete one, in any circumstance, is an automatic one-way ticket to Cesarean city. It means that the placenta blocks the exit and will have no choice but to detach and deliver first if a woman goes into labor. So what's wrong with that? Well, as soon as a placenta detaches, your baby is no longer able to receive any oxygen. NOT GOOD. Secondly, this creates a situation for heavy blood loss in the mother. NOT GOOD AT ALL. But me and Baby Bearhat? We were marginal, with a strong possibility for movement. An 80-90% chance in fact that I would clear the green zone and get past 20mm. We left that day with an appointment to come again in 9-10 weeks.

Last week was week 29, and sadly there was no news. Still 4mm to go, and wouldn't you know it that she would be breech? Oh and not just any breech, but possibly frank breech (with at least one leg straight up) happily sucking on a toe while we poked around. The message was clear: I'm doing fine in here, live in the moment and stop obsessing about planning everything out.

So what's my birth plan? 
For the first time in my life, I don't have a plan.

I'm just ready for whatever Baby Bearhat decides to do. Maybe BB will turn, maybe the placenta will move, maybe neither. More ultrasounds are in our future, and I'm just now realizing how serious this birthing business is despite how easy my mother and grandmother made it seem. Yes, pregnancy and birthing are natural, but that doesn't mean unusual things don't happen. We have more women and babies surviving childbirth today for a reason. As someone who, "once a upon a time" envisioned giving birth with a doula in a birthing tub, I've quickly learned that it's not just about me and my plans. I've seen enough birthing stories where a mother is distraught mid-labor because things don't go the way she wants, adding tears and more stress to an already highly emotional situation. We just have to remember that sometimes mother nature throws us for a loop, and the end goal should always be to have a healthy mother and baby. I'm so grateful that I live in a time when appropriate measures can be taken to ensure that both Baby Bearhat and I will be safe.

Now I just have to keep eating and help her pack on the pounds. She needs to more than double her body weight in the next 2 months. Definitely no complaints here!